Is this book for you?
Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before?
Read it if…
- You want simple, practical tools for the days your mood, worries or stress get on top of you.
- You wait to feel motivated before you start things, and the feeling rarely comes.
- You're hard on yourself after a mistake or a bit of criticism.
- You'd like a book you can dip into for the problem you're facing today.
- You've never read a self-help book and want a warm, easy place to start.
Watch the summary
What the book is about
Dr Julie Smith is a clinical psychologist. After a session, a client once asked her why nobody had told them this before. That question stayed with her, and this book is her answer: the everyday tools from the therapy room, written down for anyone to use.
It is built as a handbook rather than a book you read once. Eight parts cover the things that trip most of us up, from low mood and motivation to grief, fear and stress. The entries are short, so you can turn straight to what you need, and it treats looking after your mind like looking after your body: something you do every day, not only when things go wrong.
What’s inside
On dark places What low mood is, the habits that keep it going, and how to turn a bad day into a slightly better one by getting the basics right.
On motivation Motivation is a feeling, not a skill. The skill is acting in your own best interests when the feeling isn’t there, and action often brings the motivation with it.
On emotional pain Why pushing difficult feelings away tends to make them stronger, what to do with them instead, and how to support someone else who is hurting.
On grief The stages of grief, the tasks of mourning and the things that help you carry a loss, whether that’s a person or a big change in your life.
On self-doubt How to deal with criticism and disapproval, build real confidence, and remember that you are not your mistakes.
On fear and stress Practical ways to calm anxiety and manage pressure, including breathing techniques you can use in the moment. The updated edition adds a step-by-step anxiety action plan and a panic attack guide.
On a meaningful life How to work out what matters to you, so the tools serve a life you actually want to live.
Spare tools Exercises, diagrams and journal prompts gathered at the back, ready to use whenever you need them.
Who wrote it
Dr Julie Smith is a clinical psychologist who worked in the NHS and then ran her own private practice for a decade. She was the first psychology professional to share therapy insights on TikTok, and her mission is to make good mental health education freely available to everyone.
She is a regular expert on ITV’s This Morning, an ambassador for BBC Children in Need, and has appeared on podcasts including The Diary of a CEO and The Mel Robbins Podcast. Her follow-up book, Open When, is a companion to this one. She lives in Dorset with her family.
What readers are saying
What they love: Readers like that it feels like a manual for life’s ups and downs, one they can open at the problem in front of them rather than reading cover to cover. Many say it’s a gentle first self-help book, and audiobook listeners often mention how much warmth Dr Julie brings by reading it herself.
What well-known names said: Steven Bartlett of The Diary of a CEO called it “A brilliant book”. Author Lori Gottlieb called it “Smart, insightful, and warm”. The Sunday Times praised its practical advice on everything from building confidence to managing stress.
Quick facts
- Author
- Dr Julie Smith, clinical psychologist
- Publisher
- Michael Joseph (Penguin)
- Length
- 432 pages (UK hardback)
- Published
- 6 January 2022, updated edition January 2024
- Formats
- Hardback, paperback, ebook and audiobook, read by the author
- Recognition
- Number one Sunday Times bestseller, over 140 weeks in the UK Top Ten, over a million copies sold
- Reading time
- Around 8 to 9 hours, or dip in by topic
- Difficulty
- Easy. Short, bite-sized entries in plain English.
Our verdict
If you've ever left a hard day wishing someone had handed you a simple plan, this is the book to keep within reach. Dr Julie Smith turns a therapist's toolkit into short entries on low mood, motivation, grief, self-doubt, fear and stress. It works best as a handbook: open it at the chapter that fits your day and try one tool. The audiobook is read by Dr Julie herself, which many listeners love.
WillYouRead.com is independent and not affiliated with the author or publisher. This page is not medical advice. If you're struggling with your mental health, please speak to your GP.
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